Perfect gift!

 

PERFECT gift  5/5

 

 

This is a late update from yesterday. Sorry, I’ve been down. Making it up to you now:

Hola hola! Today will be a bit dif review, cuz why not?

 

 

This post is inspired and brought to you by anger. Let me explain:

When I’m REALLY mad at someone for whatever reason, instead of using the whole variety of F* words like to use cactus. It’s honestly more effective and it makes everyone visualize it and grinch out of imaginary pain. Mission accomplished! 

What do I exactly say? I say:
Go F* yourself.
With a cactus.
Sideways.
Furiously!

Where to shove it is up to you, but I meant it to go up anally.

Now review of why cactus:

+ It’ll survive PRETTY long so it long therm pain guaranteed. 
+ As painful going up as going down. No easy way out. GOOD!
+ It’s ridiculously cheap. Not that I’m not willing to pay for this kind of amusement, but almost free is better.
+ The embarrassment asking for help from a friend or professional. (professional cactus remover, hah!)


– Kinda hard to choose, so many great selection.
– Poor plant is too good for you and your anus
– Would you remember to water it and love it? Yes tears would do.

Pro tips:

  • For longer pain duration consider bamboo instead of cactus. Why not both? Both are good.
  • Avoid using lube to maximize the effect.
  • Remember to collect enemies’ tears and use them as anti-aging serums before going to bed.

     

Now be on your way my little evils.
I’ve told you my fav way to tell people to F* off. Hopefully, you’ve enjoyed it as much as I do every time that says it to someone. 
Use with caution and not on everyone, ok? It’s a bit of too cruel and not everyone has a sense of humor, respect that.

Next will be an actual review, but until then:
remember to water your cactus, give it love and see you later. Ta taaa! 

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